The Affair Fog is Often Alcohol/Drug Induced/Enabled

Join Doug today at 2:30pm EST (Thursday, July 22, 2021) as he talks about the "Affair Fog" and how the Bible warns that overconsumption of alcohol (and by extension, drugs) can be a big impetus for losing the inhibitions and self-control that lead to fornication/adultery.  He'll also address justifying nature of those in adulterous affairs (or any other sin) which, combined with an incredible lack of empathy toward God and the other spouse, leads to a narcissistic abuse that's practically unrivaled in the marriage. Adultery is a sin God that God takes very seriously so much so He has forbidden it with great vigor in the Ten Commandments.  Finally, we will talk about how God gives the opportunity to repent, "go and sin no more," and be healed to all those who have been down this road, even though many will not take advantage of this incredible extension of mercy. This is an important topic, hope to see you then!

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Jezebel/Narc “Forgets” Defining Characteristics About You Constantly

One very interesting, and yet quite subtle, way for a narcissist to “jab” at you is when he or she uses what could be deemed as a kindness to offer you something they should know from much experience you wouldn’t want.

Then your stuck with appearing rude by saying no, even though you’ve already said no many times before and through just living your day to day life shown you wouldn't want what’s offered.

It’s part of the demeaning/diminishing process, to show that

1. Your beliefs in this regard are not respected.
2. What’s important to you is not important to them
3. You, as a person, and your likes/dislikes are forgettable.

For example, let’s say the Narc/Jez knows a person who observes certain dietary restrictions, whether in observance of an allergy or disease, a religious belief or just because they find they live a healthier life without the said items, the narcissist/jezebel will offer on many occasions these items which the victim has made clear time and time again he or she won’t take.

If the person doesn’t eat pork, pork is offered.

Off of red meat?  

Can I fix you a steak?

Stopped drinking soft drinks?

How about a sprite?

Don’t ingest aspartame or artificial sweeteners, can I get you a Coke Zero?

Don’t take pharmaceuticals and never have in their presence, but you have a headache?

How about an ibuprofen?

One thing you will notice is that what's being offered are all choices the narc/jez still makes for him/herself.  Sin and indulgence loves company and hates being alone, so this is a big reason why the narc/jez keeps coming time after time.  If you give in at some point, they will be justified.

But the catch 22 of this situation is the narcissist/Jezebel appears magnanimous when making the offer.  An outsider might even think the narc/jez polite.  And this is the trick of it because this seeming courtesy is only an irritation of to the victim who is suffering the indignity for the "umpteenth" time. 

What the victim experiences is, “you’ve known me for years and you know I don’t partake of these particular items.  Why do you continue to offer them?  Are you forgetting?  Are my personal requirements and preferences so unimportant to you that you just forget or you don’t care in the least?”

It’s usually something deeper than that and even the "sin loves company" aspect of it.  

The demons in the narcissist/Jezebel are playing high level 3d chess with this move.

First, as stated they are completely diminishing the value of the victim that, as a human being that deserves some modicum of respect, which could be shown by respecting the individual’s preferences, which the narc/jez continuously shows a penchant for NOT doing.

Secondly, the demons are shrouding the narcissist/Jezebel of the protective bubble of, “I was just trying to be nice,” so that if you confront this you look like the bad guy/girl.  A victim with people pleasing characteristics is particularly subject to this.  If you’re concerned at all about what other people think, especially outsiders observing what's happening, you will be completely hamstrung by this tactic and just say a polite, "no thank you," while you seek God to help you to forgive yet another of these slights.

Thirdly, the demons are hoping you indeed will give in and as with our examples, so you will:

1. Break God’s dietary law or eat a food that you don’t like or is bad for your health, and suffer the negative consequences thereof. 
2. Drink high fructose corn syrup which will destroy your health and give you the “beates” (diabetes). 
3. Ingest aspartame which also will hurt you severely.
4. Take over the counter drugs which will also have a long lasting poisonous effect.

Most Narcissist/jezebel him/herself will not be thinking of it on this level.  Usually their focus is so on self that what they’re doing escapes them. Instead, they are being used of demons to poke you with these sweetly shrouded courteous overtures.  But be sure this is a type of gaslighting that is truly high level due to the double binding aspect of it.

If you get irritated and show it, you feel like you’re being a jerk because the other person was “just being polite.”

If you want to discover if this is happening to you, you could even test this out with a trusted friend who has normal levels of empathy to see if your preferences are well known enough that the narc/jez should know better.  

If you have something you don’t do and that has long been part of your preferences and personal identity, but that the narc/jez in your life seems to “forget” over and over again, even seemingly small and simple things, or bigger things (like easter and Christmas), simply ask your friend some questions that will show you this narc/jez should be fully aware.  

As with our examples of above:

You to friend: "I was wondering if you were aware of my unique dietary habits?"

Your friend will probably answer: "Sure, you don’t drink soft or diet drinks and you stay away from corn syrup and artificial sweeteners. I’ve never seen you once drink a coke.  You don't eat pork or even red meat, and oh, yeah,  you don’t take medicines." 

And then comes the clarity.  

Even a friend who knows you well but has been around you as much nor heard you speak out about these subjects over and over again as the narc/jez would have knows you well enough to know about these unique to you habits.

But the narc/jez cannot get outside of him/herself.  Remember, no empathy, so a seemingly benevolent act toward you will only serve to expose the real lack of the benevolence and the multi-teared level of attack by their demons on you and your humanity, on your personal value.

This type of attack seems so trivial and small, and for someone without experience with a Narc/Jez might not even be able to understand you when you discuss it.  But for the true victim who is incessantly peppered with this type of treatment consistently, it can build up to a bursting point.  This is why consistent exposure to a narcissist/jezebel  can be so detrimental, because this tactic is being used not in isolation, but as part of a myriad of attack methodologies that make each tactic more potent than when being executed alone.

Have you experienced this phenomena?  If so, how and with what areas of your life?  Comment below!