The constant injustice of dealing with a narcissist/Jezebel (narc/Jez for short.)
It starts with the absolute disregard for your feelings, the utter lack of empathy, but what really takes you over the edge is the injustice of dealing with a narc/Jez.
The continuous self-centeredness of the narc/Jez which results in the eventual robbing of something very important to you.
Narc/Jez's always take.
They never give without an ulterior motive.
And when they take, it feels like theft.
Not to diminish the term, but you feel like you've been raped, pillaged, robbed, beaten and left on the side of the highway for dead.
And the worst of it is that they are so stinking clever that for a time it almost seems like they've done so with impunity.
Without consequence.
Without consequence.
And that short period of no consequence for their actions can feel like an eternity.
You can begin to think there will never be any judgment upon them for what they've done.
You can begin to think there will never be any judgment upon them for what they've done.
And generally speaking, you may be the type of person that heretofore wouldn't initiate conflict.
You've been a peace maker most of your life.
But now you are about to bust.
Your narc/Jez has shown absolutely no empathy whatsoever for your plight.
He or she could care less.
It's all about what they can get and keep, remember?
It's not about what it costs to you.
So now however he/she has wronged you, you see no justice and it's eating you right to the core.
For example, narc/Jez's are notorious in divorce cases for taking away the children and getting full custody while completely cutting off the other parent, OUT OF SPITE, often through false accusations of abuse and/or rape.
So the non-custodial parent has had the very people he cherishes the most in this world, his children, ripped out of his life.
And the narc/Jez woman does not care.
Nope. You've become the evil enemy and she is the victim and if she can help it, you will never see your kids again, and if you do, it will be at the absolute least amount of visits and time possible.
She doesn't care not one iota how much that hurts you.
She doesn't care not one iota how much that hurts you.
And she's doing so most likely because you called out the narc/Jez for her ridiculous behavior.
And once you did, once you were on to the enemy behind the curtain, you were going to be punished for having done so, and quite severely.
How dare you uncover the truth about the narc for all to see?
And in this example, if she gets a favorable result (to her) from the court system, which in so many cases, the woman does, in spite of testimony of adultery, or even her own abuse of husband and children, or of a crazy lifestyle which includes partying and drug use, 9 times out of 10 she gets custody, because she's a woman.
And there she sits with that smug look of satisfaction on her face.
In her mind she just won an important battle.
Not for the kids' best interest, and obviously not for yours.
Nope, the only person she won for was for herself.
Nope, the only person she won for was for herself.
Now she's going to raise those kids like hell cats.
She doesn't care about that. Heck, deep down she knows you'd raise them better than her and in a more stable way.
It was never about that. It was about BEATING YOU.
So now, as alluded to earlier, inside you're about to bust because your children are gone and being looked after by this person that hates you.
And if she can hate you so badly, couldn't she hate them, too?
And if she can hate you so badly, couldn't she hate them, too?
But you know she's a narc/Jez, and as stated in my first video, Narcissists/Jezebels Are DEMON POSSESSED, she is indeed so.
This is just one example, but you woman listeners have your own squabbles with your male narc/Jez's who abuse you and everyone else they know as well.
How about the narc/Jez male who is constantly acting superior, not only to you, but to every in the known galaxy?
His interest is only in self promotion, at yours and every one else's expense, who has abused every one he has power over in constantly seeking worship from others and if there's anything less the praise and honor directed at him, God forbid some constructive criticism, he loses it and goes off on his victims, trying to control their every move and thought down to the micro level.
His interest is only in self promotion, at yours and every one else's expense, who has abused every one he has power over in constantly seeking worship from others and if there's anything less the praise and honor directed at him, God forbid some constructive criticism, he loses it and goes off on his victims, trying to control their every move and thought down to the micro level.
No matter how the abuse comes, it's maddening.
Satan knows this, and he knows you are right to want justice.
So he will use the narc/Jez in such a way that he magnifies the fact that while they are mistreating you, using you, causing you pain, it seems like they are getting away with it!
Their manipulation of situations, their lies to others about you, their gaslighting of you in their communciations, all of this can come to a head in your heart and mind and then suddenly you're ready to bust.
It's generally after you're over being sad and feeling sorry for yourself that you will have the righteous reaction of wanting to see proper judgment come down on your narc/Jez.
And you will want to execute that judgment yourself.
You will want to seek that judgment, that retribution, like a bulldog on a steak.
You may find yourself wanting to hurt that narc/Jez real bad.
You may think to yourself, this person has no idea how far they've taken it and how I am ready to execute some justice on him.
But then, if you love God and are spiritually connected to Him, He will hold you back.
God won't let you do a thing.
Why? Well, first of all, He is protecting you from the consequences of dropping the hurt on your narc/Jez.
If you go and do something crazy, and even though the narc/Jez is totally deserving of retribution, God doesn't want you to lower yourself to the level of the narc/Jez. He doesn't want you to fall into this trap of Satan, to do what Satan wants you to do.
Doing so will only hurt you in the end.
It's an amazing trick of the enemy to use your rightful reaction to being so wronged to get you to lower yourself to do what he wants.
But if you're walking with the Lord, you are an upstanding citizen in the kingdom of heaven, and He wants you to remain so.
Another reason God doesn't want you to take revenge is that it is His responsibility to execute judgment on wicked behavior.
"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:19-21).
There's so much in this scripture.
First, we as Christians are not to avenge ourselves. If we get to that point that we'd like to do so, we need to work hard in prayer to get free from wanting to execute our own judgments on the narc/Jezes who have so harmed us.
We even have to forgive them, from our hearts, because God can't forgive us if we don't forgive others.
"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15).
I am not saying it will be easy, but it's what's required of us and is for our benefit.
Remaining in unforgiveness and bitterness towards another person is like you taking poison meant for them. It only hurts you.
That doesn't mean that you have to continue contact with your narc/Jez, but it does mean that you have to release your unforgiveness and desire to execute judgment on the narc/Jez.
This is the only way you can have peace, and the only way you can avoid falling into Satan's trap and doing what he, that is Satan, wants you to do.
Satan wants you to be like him. He wants you to hate. He wants you to kill and destroy, just like him.
"The thief (Satan) cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destoy..." (John 10:10).
He wants you to inherit an eternity in the Lake of Fire that burns with brimstone right there along with him (Revelation 19:20).
And one of his most clever of tricks, is to get you to want what is justice in your situation, and to what to execute that justice yourself.
Your narc/Jez most assuredly deserves big time judgment for what he/she has done to you.
Satan knows that better than anyone else.
His demons personally instigated your narc/Jez in every vial thing he/she did to you.
But what Satan also knows is that this judgment and vengeance your narc/Jez deserves is reserved for God to execute, not you, and if he can get you to take God's role in this matter, then you are doing exactly what he tried to do in his own fall, that is, attempt in pride to take God's job.
In fact, you taking on the administration of judgment and vengeance is one of the most Satanic things you can do, because it is emulating what Satan has tried to do from the beginning. He wants to be God, and he wants you to want to be God, too.
But revisiting the scripture above from Romans in which it says Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay, its additional council is that we feed and give drink to our enemies who are hungry and thirsty, that we overcome evil with good.
Doing this can be so hard with the narc/Jez. They will actually see you as weak for doing anything nice for them, and see you as chum in the water, the smell of the blood will draw them to chomp down like a great white would a seal.
But in that situation, where you are "loving your enemy," God will only allow you to endure so much, and then He will have you move on. He will deliver you from the situation, so that you don't have to constantly be under such abuse.
Those of us in situations like that, where narc/Jez's are in our lives, either at home or work or anywhere outside of the home, we have to pray and ask God if He still wants these people in our lives.
Sometimes He has us there for a time and season as a means of showing the narc/Jez what good behavior is, to be an example.
Another reason He has us in their lives is because when they stand before him at their final judgments, He will show them the people in their lives who were His servants. who were an example to them, and then He will show the narc/Jezes how they ignored that example and even abused His servants.
Remember Jesus' words,
"But whose shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh" (Matthew 18 6-7)!
The vengeance is entirely God's, and He certainly will repay. You don't even have to soil yourself in any way to exact revenge on those who offend and hurt you.
Someone much bigger than you has your back.
There is no way for a Christian to go through this life without being offended by people who hate God. Every person who hates God is a narc in his or her own way. And every person who hates God, at the behest of their own demons, will hate you.
Jesus said, "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecture you..." (John 15:18-20).
But there will be big time judgment for each and every narc, as stated above, but the point of this blog/podcast is that it is not our roles to execute that judgment. We must leave that to God.
And as I stated in the podcast, "Jezebels/Narcissists are DEMON POSSESSED," there is a chance that God will use you and your love for Him to overcome their evil. There is a chance these narcs can be delivered. I know it's a small chance, but as much as I want to see justice in my own situation, I have to wait on God, and hope for the best for the narc to repent.
This is why Jesus said,
"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thy enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven..." (Matthew 5:43-45).
Jesus didn't say this because he wanted to give wrongdoers a free pass, He said it so that you could pattern your life after the pattern of your Father in heaven, but I think also because God sees you as higher being as a born again Christian, one that no longer needs to wallow in the mire of revenge, vengeance, bitterness and hatred.
He's lifted you out of that mire and stood you on solid ground. You no longer have to lower yourself.
You are of a different kingdom now. The kingdom of God.
There's also that chance your narc/Jez can be like Saul who repented and became Paul. Remember how Saul went to overseeing and approving of the persecution and the killing of Christians (talk about a narc) to his own conversion (and being renamed Paul, Acts 9) and subsequent preaching of the gospel and the giving of his own life for Christ? What if that could be your narc? It's not beyond the realm of possibility.
"...With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).
But the main theme of this blog is how Satan will try to take your desire for justice in your situation and get you to execute it yourself.
Chances are that if you are spiritual and love God that He will lead you away from that.
He knows the end from the beginning and He also knows if your narc/Jez may one day repent.
He's showing much mercy on that person during this time that judgment is not falling, but without repentance, you can be sure at some point, His judgment will be brought to bare.
You just have to be patient and trust God as a little child with this matter, follow Him and His leading, and especially the example of His Word, and continue to walk in love and peace in your life.
I'm speaking to myself as much as I am to you, dear reader/listener. We have to obey God's word and lead the matter of the proper justice and judgment for these narcs/Jez's in our lives to Him.
He is and will judge the matter perfectly.
Just obey His leading with regard to whether and how much these narcs/Jez's should be in your life.
If He's leading you to break away, by all means do!
But if He's leading you to be there on some level, do so with much prayer for discernment and protection from God to remain insulated from the potentiality that the narc/Jez may do serious harm through betrayal in your life.
"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, but harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16).
A-men, Lord, A-men.
Hi my name is kimmy and I watched your videou and felt the lord talking to me about forgiving narcs in my life ..I'd grown raging and bitter for so long of being invalidated and abused that I feared being a narcisst myself !!I'm not sure if I am or not ??I hope not !!I hope I'm not possessed ...however I've felt oppressed my entire life !!I'm almost 55 as was sexually abused by neighbor first at around seven and have narcisstic parents and enabling golden child sister ..I believe covert narcissm also ..trying to alienate me from my 15 year old daughter now ..trying to take all her time from me and me and my daughter have strained relationship from I believe smear camaigns on Me most my life ...them telling everyone I'm the unstable one ..my life on outside does reflect because I'm on disability now from much anxiety disorders ,complex post traumatic stress disorDer ,depression ..I believe as result of decades of abuse..all I know is I feel stuck in my life and my church hasn't been much help so I keep leaving ..I wish you ..who ever wrote this could call me @651 335 -4152 ..I know it may seem like strange request ..don't know if could but I was hoping for once ..someone that calls their self real christian could for once could really come through for me ..I felt let down by others so much ..I don't know where to start from here again ..too much to write in here and won't let me put it all in here !!
ReplyDeleteAgain my name is kimmy ..I sent one comment .I really found your article inspiring and from the heart!!it moved Me to tears ..because,I related to so much of it ..but as comments your only allowed so much letters to type ..and well,that's just impossible for me to fit in what I really need to share ...so I know it may seem ....innapropriate to ask you to call me.as just a blogger putting your thoughts up here however, how much really is it if you want genuine answers to things that you want change to but you dont really feel getting help elsewhere from others after reaching out ??how much than are you willing to reach out to maybe answer some possible questions that either don't fit on here or just someone don't want to put in public for all to see??? ...I guess than just in my opinion it's not such inappropriate thing to ask !! I'm just a single parent ..with not much support asking for prayers and help out of what seems...impossible situation ..are you ever willing to call someone to pray with ..I live in minnesota ..again name kimmy ..don't normally like to post number in most situations ..but here I'd make exception ..651-335-4152
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