Have you ever found yourself stretching the truth and even lying to placate and pacify your attacking Narcissist/Jezebel? Well, you're not alone, but this is something you will need to remedy in order to be right with your Savior, Jesus Christ, who is the Truth. When we compromise/sin by lying in order to try to protect ourselves, we are literally letting God's hedge of protection down and allowing the enemy in and to further control us. Jump on this podcast express to learn more and to discover how you can get free of this diabolical behavior!
How many times have you spoken the truth at the onset of a relationship with a Narcissist/Jezebel only to be reamed out so harshly after each of those incidents that you found yourself later not only walking on eggshells, but you even began to speak to them words that were either untrue, outright lies, or so candy coated that the true theme of what you were trying to say was lost in the translation?
Many Christians have lost their way when, out of fear of retribution, we do not tell the truth, or we candy coat so much to save the feelings of the narc/jez. The eggshell walking mars the truth itself and buries it so far below that the recipient would have to pick it out like a needle in a haystack to find it.
You've been conditioned to be afraid to speak the truth to this person, and have forgotten the Word of God that says,
"The wicked flee when no man pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion."
We've lost our boldness in the truth and we hide behind sweet words and flattery hoping the recipient will be able to receive the main gist buried beneath.
But what we don't realize is that their demons see right through what we're doing. They're the ones who have tricked us into doing so to begin with, and the narc/jez suddenly has his or her antenna up ready to pounce on our duplicity when the truth finally comes out and rend us like swine.
This is why we can't hide the truth in platitudes and flattery, we need to come right out with it, get to the point, and say what we mean first and further elaborate afterward, if the person even allows.
We deliver the message in love, but especially in truth.
So hiding, distorting or misrepresenting the truth entirely will get us Christians into all sorts of trouble.
This is because lying is strictly forbidden by God. The ninth of the Ten Commandments reads:
"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour" (Exodus 20:16)
We are told that in Revelation 21:7-8,
"He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and ALL LIARS, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death"
We have also been given freely of the Holy Spirit, of whom Jesus said,
"Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come" (John 16:13).
We are the people of the truth, and many of us who have been abused, bullied and had our lives threatened by narcissists/Jezebels (just as Elijah did) have allowed ourselves to be gelded, emasculated, diminished and to be turned into outright liars as a reaction to this abuse.
Rather than stand up to it and trust God, we have allowed fear to creep in, not realizing that if we tell the truth it stands to help the person abusing us more because in that truth the person can begin to see their sin and perhaps repent.
But if we lie, we cannot claim to be Christians because only the truth can break the fallow ground of the Narcissist/Jezebel's behavior.
And when we tell the truth, we, too, can maintain our dignity and not allow the enemy bind us, to shut us up, to make us impotent in the things of God.
In most cases, consistently telling a narcissist the truth will MOST DEFINITELY fracture and terminate the relationship. Narcissist/Jezebels do not abide having their idol of themselves toppled by truth and they tend to flee from those who do so without fear.
In that light, I ask as the Lord did in Amos 3:3, "How can two walk together unless they agree?"
And even Paul wrote, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness" (2 Corinthians 6:14).
If the Narc/Jez in your life runs, let him/her run.
If it's a marriage and your unbelieving spouse is riding the gravy train of leaching supply to his/her demons through abusing you, shouldn't the truth interfere and put a stop to that?
If he/she leaves, sobeit. That's their choice, but it is your responsibility to tell the truth and not to fall into lies just to save your relationship.
Be honest.
If you can't speak the truth when communicating in love and meekness due to the pattern of attacking reactions of the narc/jez, then you've lost who you are as a child of God and have been swallowed up by the web of lies & deceits you felt you had to weave to protect yourself from that harm.
Rather than protect yourself, however, you've actually bound yourself tight in all the webs of those lies until your eyes, ears, nose and mouth are wrapped up like an Egyptian mummy and the rest of your body like a giant ball of twine.
Now your trapped.
You can't see or hear clearly, you can't speak correctly, and certainly can't move.
In order to find your way out of the bind, you must pray for deliverance from the deception and lies from Jesus Christ the Righteous and you must begin to calmly speak the truth to people who would otherwise shut you down.
Once you do so, if the person bristles and attacks, you know an impasse of non-agreement will be reached and you can then allow the fracture to split the two of you and you can go your own way.
If the person receives the truth, all the better, and perhaps that person can return back to good standing with the Lord and your relationship, but there's no chance of this happening if you're flattering and kissing that person's behind just to protect yourself.
If they don't change, you can then do what Jesus said,
"Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican" (Matthew 18:15-17).
You can bring in outside counsel to confront the person, and if after that they don't receive it, Jesus says very directly to treat that person as an outcast in your life. You've told your peace and that's all that's required of you.
In summation, you cannot maintain your Christian "status" while lying to others. We don't do that. We have the Holy Spirit of Truth and we must tell the truth and let whatever outcome is produced happen. We can't lie and distort things just to please our abusers or to maintain the idol of themselves they've so particularly built. That's one of the main reasons many of us our still trapped in their grip: we can't get free because we won't tell them the truth, and we stop telling ourselves the truth, and so Satan keeps us ensnared brown nosing the very people who have made us their victims.
Time to tell the truth, and to get free, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).
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