Join Doug for another excerpt from this week's mashup podcast (episode 2). This one is a reading of another reddit story where the OP is cheated on by his wife and his own mother supports her, wants him to stay married to her, and makes him the villain for wanting to move on. Surely there was philandering in his mother's background. But this is right out the narcissist/Jezebel playbook: attack the victim and support the villain. Help the villain to project guilt on the victim while trying to keep the victim enslaved to the narcissist/Jezebel. This story of course has an enabler/Ahab, the OP's father, who doesn't defend him in the least and just sits back quiet and defeated. Yet another eye opening tale as to what we deal with when these demonized narcissist Jezebel's are at work!
SIDE NOTE
I've had a couple of commenters take my view of this story and twist it up, in my estimation, so I want to make a few things clear.
1. The Jezebel spirit is very clever at making the victim the villain. That is what I see this man's mother doing to him. She never expresses any real empathy for his wife cheating on him, and sides with the wife, to try to get him to keep his cheating wife in his home, even though there's much evidence the cheating wife trickle-truthed him and has much unconfessed/unrepented of adulterous behavior she is hiding.
2. WE MUST FORGIVE. Yes, this man must forgive his wife and anyone else that has wronged him. But what does that forgiveness entail? Does that mean he's required to stay in fellowship with her just because he forgives her? (More on this in point 5.)
3. His wife was only sorry AFTER SHE WAS CAUGHT, tried to cover up and trickle truth her behavior, and never confessed to past behaviors that indicated her other adulterous activities. There are further updates to this story that weren't read on this video (but that I had heard on another video) where friends told him of past behaviors that showed she was not loyal to him. Also, the way she said she was, "good at keeping secrets," was further evidence of this. I do actually think this woman could be forgiven. But there is no point in staying with an adulterous who continues lying, rug sweeping, covering up, and who won't repent.
4. Which leads me to Matthew 18 where Jesus tells us that when we confront someone who has wronged us, we do so first in person, and if he/she won't repent, then with two or three others, and then with the larger group/community. If the person doesn't repent at one of those stages, then you are TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM/HER. This is why I may seem so hardcore to many viewers because if I know someone is apologizing BUT STILL LYING AND COVERING UP THEIR BEHAVIOR, this means there still isn't true repentance, yes they are expressing sorrow, but lying about the behavior that's being addressed only furthers the sin (thou shalt not bear false witness) and shows there is no real repentance. I am saying that we should have nothing to do with these people going forward.
5. The person who commits infidelity takes a huge risk. The one thing is, while Jesus requires we forgive, he does not require we stay with anyone who commits adultery. We have every right to end the marriage because the other person BROKE THE COVENANT. Yes, we can forgive and try to move on from it, and this is a very Godly way to go, because this is the same thing God has done for us, but God DOES NOT REQUIRE THIS FROM US because He knows the devastation such behavior has caused to the union. You are free to move on and free to stay. This decision is entirely up to you. Where I get upset with other people who make the cheated on spouse the villain for not maintaining the marriage is that this decision is entirely up to him, and everyone should respect the decision he makes and not try to sway him one way or the other. He's the only one who has to live with his own thoughts and resulting emotions that can be overwhelming, no one else, and it is unfair for anyone (his mother in this example) to force suffering on him for which she herself will never bear.
6. I find it very interesting how many syrupy sweet "Christians" are always so to the person who did the wrong and NOT TO THE VICTIM. Things are truly on their heads this days. This is how I know the Jezebel spirit dominates the "Church" according to Revelation 2:20-24
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