With a title like this one, I better be on my game because I'm about to present an idea that's been banging around my head hard, like a tennis ball shot into a metal box, ricocheting violently until the energy subsides, leaving me with a startling and jarring revelation.
Here's the result of my thought process: a woman, usurping the man's position and role in the family, is a lot like Satan trying to usurp God's role as Ruler of creation.
Wow, let the hate mail begin.
But let me try to explain what I mean before you fire up your keyboard with how ridiculous you think this idea is.
According to the scriptures (Ephesians 5:22-27), there is a hierarchy in the family.
Christ is the head of the man.
Man is head of the woman.
As the man is obedient to Christ, the woman is to be obedient to the man, while the man loves the woman as Christ loved the Church and died for it.
Ouch, sounds old fashioned right?
Maybe not. Maybe, just maybe, when these roles are observed, marriages actually not only last, but flourish.
But when the roles are reversed and perverted, with the husband living a life obedient to the woman who "wears the pants" and makes all the decisions, this is where we find confusion, misdirection and misleading of the family, and, well, divorces.
Can anyone say that since feminism "liberated" women that there are fewer divorces now in the wake of the Biblical hierarchy being disrupted? With divorce rates over 50% in and out of the Church, can it be that the changes brought on by feminism have been positive? Not for marriage. No. Not for marriage.
So who becomes confused by upsetting the pecking order? The man, for one, who can no longer, under our societal rules, enforce his will upon the family (even when he is in the right), and this fosters a state of emasculation because during moments he knows something is wrong, sometimes terribly, in his wife's choices, there's nothing he can do. He just tries to be understanding, politically correct even, and to give his wife the benefit of the doubt, that she is making good decisions, all with the hope that her leadership (where she forces her will) will produce good fruit.
The man, in essence, lives an existance of second guessing himself when his wife is allowed to make decisions that are against his good judgment. After mulitple instances of this, of his wife forcing her own control of decisions, ones he knows are bad, he begins to shut down his own judgment, and LOSE HIMSELF, because he has acquiesced to her foolishness on multiple occasions.
It's especially easy for the man to fall victim of his wife's bullying if she's the type of woman that proverbs calls "contentious," and says it would be better for the man to live in a corner of a rooftop than with her (Proverbs 21:9). He'd rather let her have her way than struggle against her relentless fighting for control.
So many of today's television shows depict this phenomena. Husbands are presented as bumbling, brunt of the joke fools, that no one in the family has any reason to respect, nor do they. He's just the "DNA provider," or the one who works to pay the bills, but not much good for anything else.
And the women (see Everybody Loves Raymond, or Modern Family, etc.) are portrayed as wise and the only ones equipped to make the important decisions; the only ones with any common sense.
These phenomena have turned the family on its head, because in actuality, men, on the whole (particularly those living for Christ) are more logical, more reasonable, less prone to letting their emotions lead them to bad decisions that can and do steer the family astray. But if there's a strong willed woman who is in constant disagreement and is constantly manipulating the man to get her way, and the man ALLOWS it, there's a good chance he will be so gelded he can no longer lead the family, and the wife takes over the roll lock, stock and barrel.
The issue with women leading households is that they are not equipped for this role. Just as Satan can't be God, a woman can't be a man, and she can't be the head of a proper God-fearing family. And, you can often see just how miserable the women who take this roll on become. The weight of the burden they aren't equipped to carry becomes too much, and in their frustration they lose all respect for their husbands whose role they've usurped, mistreating and disrespecting them at every turn.
Furthermore, when women take on the position of head of the family for themselves, they can no longer see the setup working any other way, though they still end up resenting the scenario while at the same time find themselves unable to understand why things aren't going well. Or why their "stupid," helpless husband isn't doing his part, or has strayed, or has left the family altogether.
In the case where the husband is a decent guy (let me acknowledge there are lots of men out there who treat their wives very badly, but that's not who I'm talking about here, I'm talking about the decent, God-fearing fellows) one has to wonder how and why he might become separated or divorced from his wife who has taken the role of the head of the household. A big reason for this could be because he has grown too uncomfortable with taking on the woman's role in the hierarchy and seeing his role stolen from him. God made him to be the head of his family, not the second in command, and at some point, if he wants his manhood back, he has to assert his position. If the wife bucks and kicks like a wild mule and does not accept his leadership, she will often make the decision to move on and he's left alone, but at least at this point he can reassert his manhood without her presence.
Tying this back into my title, the woman taking the man's role is a lot like Satan trying to take God's role, a role for which Satan is most certainly not equipped. God is the only being who is omniscient (all knowing), omnipresent (everywhere) and omnipotent (all powerful). Satan is not any of these things. How could he then assume that he could take God's role? I mean, it's been said that Satan was the most beautiful of angels, and because of his beauty and abilities he grew vain and puffed up in pride and believed he could do God's job.
In so many way, the pride and vanity of women (as the fairer sex, at least in appearance), has led them to believe they should also lead the family, and to lead men in general, but as with Satan, they are not equipped to do so.
This is one reason why women can be so merciless and totally lack understanding when they do get power. If they feel they've been wronged (even when they truly haven't been) they can lash out in unfounded anger and retribution, not thinking in a level headed, what's best for all, fashion.
This is because they should not be leading men to begin with, and taking the role perverts God's intention and the result is loss of peace, disunity, and broken relationships.
But in the family, the man is supposed to be the leader, the king and high priest of his household. The woman is the "Queen" of the family and has all authority over the household, only second to the husband and over the children. She can give counsel to the husband and provide input, but on matters where there is disagreement, the woman is supposed to defer to the man.
Now this can only really work when the man is serving God, but even still, when the husband is not asking the wife to sin, the Bible even bids women to be obedient to their unbelieving spouses as a testimony of Christ, to draw their unbelieving spouses to repentance by their good works.
But today's feminism has made it extremely difficult for women to believe and abide by this biblical principal, and so women think they're entitled to the man's position of power in the family. And this is wrong, and a lie. And men, being lazy and not wanting to stand up for their position, acquiesce to the woman and lose their proper place. And so, all that can follow, is confusion and doubt.
My counsel would be to reassert God's Biblical principals in your own household. Search the scriptures for how God intends the family unit to be run, and read them together so you both can be on the same page. Don't let Satan's turning our society on its head effect the way you run your house. Say with Joshua, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15).